The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Life.

Yesterday in church someone asked if anyone "has it easy?" Two of us raised our hands. The other guy who raised his hand is a ridiculous optimist. I really like the guy. Amy looked at me funny, and said "you think you have it easy?" I said I really thought I did. While running today I thought about it some more since my iPod battery was dead. How did I survive without my iPod for fifty some minutes? Here is what I came up with.

I eat everyday, have clean water that is usually cold to drink pretty much anytime I want. But water is so plain tasting. I think Diet Coke should come out of the tap. How do I survive this injustice? I sleep inside almost every night except when I go camping for fun. But sometimes my house that was built in 1959 is hot. I mean like really hot. Maybe eighty degrees, and in the winter sometimes it will be in the sixties. I have a job that pays me way more than I am worth, but they expect me to come everyday, on time, and actually work. That's just not fair. I have health care I can use whenever I have a health concern, but I have to make an appointment. In fact, believe it or not, I have a co-pay when I go to the doctor. NOT FAIR. I get six weeks of vacation a year, but can you believe they make me schedule it in advance? I can't just take it any time I feel like it. That's just not right. I run, climb, mt. bike, hike all for enjoyment, and to help keep the extra weight off that all that good high calorie food I have access to puts on me if I don't stay active. It's just not right that I have to watch what I eat and exercise. I should just stay naturally slim. I have nights and weekends off and that gives me time to spend with family and friends, and engage in activities I find enjoyable. It just sucks that I have to spend so much of my free time resting so I can go back to work. I should get paid for rest time since I can't use it to my liking. I have five tents, seven camp stoves, and enough climbing gear to climb the nose route.............twice. Can you believe that I have to ride a ten plus year old mt. bike? How do I do it? I have great kids who do well in school, but they require that I spend my free time with them. They are so demanding. Who could ask for a better wife? Even though she won't let me B.A.S.E. jump, rope solo, or have a twenty year old girl friend. I must be a saint to stay with her.  I have three vehicles, but the newest one is three years old. The oldest one is a decade old. I deserve better for sure.

Come to think of it, I don't care if my garbage can eats better than 60% of the rest of the world. My life is horrible. I think I will go hang myself now.

(I hope everyone takes this in the way it was intended. I have no intention of hanging myself.)